How To Get Over Your Ex

So the beautifully talented group that is Little Mix have just released a song titled 'Shout Out To My Ex' and it's definitely ...

So the beautifully talented group that is Little Mix have just released a song titled 'Shout Out To My Ex' and it's definitely the new number one break-up song. It's everything you need to listen to when you break up with someone to remind you you're just as amazing without them in your life and no matter what - you'll come out of it a better person. In honour of this incredibly sassy new single I thought I'd list a few helpful tips that will help you get over your ex.

No matter who they are or if you have only been seeing them for a few months, dating them a few weeks or even married to them - it still hurts like a bitch when it's over, even if you're the one calling it off. However there is hope! No matter who it is I promise you, you will get over them and move on.


Saying that, it still takes a large amount of time. It's not something that just happens over night and it's definitely not an easy ride. There are some cases where people have been isolated from their friends and family or have more underlying issues where they need time to heal so I can't say that the below things are going to be miracle workers, but I can tell you from experience they certainly help.

Family

So for me my family are my absolute rocks in life, and no matter how much they hurt me with the truth they are always right (yes mother, I am admitting it). Even when I was having a bad time towards the end of the relationship my family had my back and looked after me even when I was being a little bitch! No matter what is said or what is done, you know you can go back to them and they will be there for you with their arms wide open. So make sure if you need a bit of silent love and company or you need a distraction I would definitely go to your family first - you will soon realise how amazing they are and how much time they have for you.


Friends

As cliche as it sounds you definitely know who your true friends are when you go through something that really knocks you. I used to be one of those girls who thought the more people you knew meant the more friends you have which isn't the case at all! Now I have about 4/5 solid friends for life that I know I could go to for anything and have my back 100% which is so much more important than having loads of half arsed friends.

The second news got out I had split up with my ex two of my best friends were straight there for me and begging me to come out and let my hair down again. I hated them at the time because it was the last thing I wanted to do, I just wanted to mope around in my pyjamas listening to Adele with a bottle of wine but looking back I really appreciate them doing that and forcing me to do it. So go out, get in touch with old friends and rekindle friendships. The worst that can happen is you have one really rubbish night out, but you know never to not do it again or it will be better next time. And the best thing that can happen is you go out, have a wild night with your pals and potentially meet the next love of your life!

Holiday

This massively links with friends and family, you just need to pack your bags and go on an impulsive holiday. I booked up to go to Zante with my two best friends about two months after my break up and as hard it was to be away from my family it was exactly what I needed. I don't even think we thought about it, we just went for it and got booked up over some noodles and a glass or five of wine. But learn from my mistakes: don't text your ex when you're away and try block all contact from them for the duration of your holiday because you don't want them tarnishing time away with whoever you are with.

I massively recommend somewhere like Zante where there's a mixture of night life with all the incredible views to go with it. I've now been twice in the space of the year and it's becoming one of my favourite places to go. So if you think your relationship is on the rocks - start keeping a little money pot!


Hobbies 

Finding something new you love and feel passionate about gives you massive hope and makes you feel like you've got something to look forward to. This could range from anything like dancing, fishing, singing lessons, blogging, running, reading - whatever you fancy at the time. If there's something you've always wished you did or could do then doing it after a break up is the perfect time to do it. You have a lot of spare time on your hands so make the most of this and put the anger and sadness you're feeling into a whole new emotion and throw yourself into your new hobby. Just focus your energy on something positive in your life.

You could even find a way to improve something you don't love about yourself, so for example eating better and going to the gym or getting a new haircut etc. I know they're not hobbies but they still count and you will feel loads better about yourself. You've got to do the whole Carrie Bradshaw drastic hair colour change after at least one break up, it's almost the rules.

Make New Friends

No doubt you will have lost a lot of friends, especially if it was a long term relationship because your friends are their friends. So do things that you know will introduce you to new people or even strike up conversations with people you know at work and see if they want to go for a drink. You never know what kind of friendships you're going to get yourself into. I met my absolute best friend after my break up and we just went for a drink as a sort of distraction and I literally don't know what I would do without her - so I definitely say push the boat out a bit. This could mean leaving a few friends behind but starting fresh with people who know you just being you and not part of a couple is a nice thing to have because they're never thinking about past events in their head or tiptoeing around their name. New friends are blunt and ask questions and don't really have opinions and that's the exact attitude you need.

Future Events

My New Years Resolution was to do more and have a fun event planned at least every month. This started out as little things like going for shopping days and nice meals with family and friends then went onto moving out and then to holidays and it's just been the most amazing year of memories. The good has 100% outshone all the dark days so make sure you have lovely things planned for yourself so you always have something to look forward to.

Get a little calendar for your wall and mark off all the days you have something exciting planned so if you're having a moment you can look at your calendar and think how lucky you are and how much you're looking forward to whatever it is you're doing.

Also make sure to schedule in your own time, go for spa days by yourself or have days where you plan on doing nothing but reading your book and having a bath etc. It's so important to be able to survive in your own company and doing relaxed things by yourself makes you feel more comfortable when no-one is around.

Online Dating

Okay, don't judge me for this one. My two best friends (the same ones still, they have a lot to answer for!) made me get Tinder when we were on holiday to 'build my confidence' and 'learn how to talk to people'. But they made me do this when we were in Zante - don't do that. Wait until you get back in your home town! But honestly, for me Tinder was such a gem when I got home because I had time to sit and think about things and Tinder became a huge distraction. If I started feeling sad I would just go on and have a neb on what was to offer in the area. This little app is perfect for learning how to get back out there and talk to guys so when the time is right and you meet someone it isn't insanely intimidating.

Plus I know quite a few couples who have actually met their other halves on Tinder and they're extremely happy so you never know what could happen!

Mistakes

Sort of linking with online dating and going on holidays is mistakes. Make them and make a lot of them! Go out and meet guys and get numbers, go on rubbish dates and meet new people. It's what you have to do and it's the perfect distraction, and it also makes some cracking stories to tell your friends. The amount of cry laughs i've got from my friends telling me their most embarrassing date stories or morning after walks of shames has been priceless, and you have those memories forever. One day you will be settled down with a partner and kids and a mortgage and it will be so amazing being able to look back on how much of a nutcase you are and reminisce with friends.

Acceptance

Last but certainly not least - don't be afraid to admit you're having a bad day, they have an awful habit of creeping right up on you and hitting you hard. Completely embrace your sadness and make it your own. But you know what you do when you have a bad day? Either get a bottle of wine (any form of alcohol works really), order a take away and whack some sad films on and just cry it out. You feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest but in the morning you feel incredible and like a great weight has been lifted. Or, if you aren't in a crying mood, call your friends and go out and dance and be happy with your favourite people. I've tried and tested both of these things and they both work an absolute treat and make me feel so much better.

And don't be ashamed to say to other people you need some company or just a hug, everyone has been through a break up or been hurt some other way so we understand. But life goes on and you come out of it a much better, stronger person who knows what they need from people and has learnt how to love themselves. Silver lining!


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